Monday, January 24, 2011

Who is the Mad Housewife?

That is actually a good question.  Sometimes I'm not even sure that I know who she is.  I have let myself get so taken over by being the stay at home mom I don't really remember who I am supposed to be.  My "about me" paragraph describes who I am, but not who I am, if that makes any sense.  I have an ex friend who, last we talked, was on a search for "herself."  Apparently that journey meant she had to drop me as a friend because I had began talking to a mutual friend we used to have that she no longer wanted in her life.  I still follow her blog, on occasion, and apparently she has gotten all Zen and began doing yoga.  That, I am for certain, is not me.  So, again, we are left with the question of who is the Mad Housewife?

Well, what I know for sure is that I am a 30-something wife and mother of one.  I know I come from a broken home and that I myself have been married twice.  I have a younger brother and an older step-sister.  I am an animal lover so we have three dogs and a hamster in our household.  I am overweight and less then happy about it.  I have great friends, but have a lot to learn about being a great friend in return.  I am not really a "people person" but more of a loaner.  I don't generally like children, just my own.  I have extremely low self-esteem.  My first marriage was a total failure because my husband was completely immature and abusive.  My second marriage is not happy but not unhappy.  It just is what it is.  We are more like friends or roommates then husband and wife.

What does all of that say about me?  Well, to me it tells me I need to get my shit together.  I need to figure out who I am and what exactly I want out of life before I'm a bitter middle aged woman.  I need to grow a pair and either work on my marriage to make it happy or I need to get out.  My daughter deserves to have a confident, happy mother.

I am hopeful that by keeping this blog I can be brutally honest with myself and figure out just who I am and what I want and go for it.  We shall see.....

2 comments:

  1. Wow! That's intense! I really hope you figure out everything you need for both yourself and your daughter. Sounds like you are on a journey. I am so glad you visited me so that I could in turn, discover YOU!

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  2. Awwww thanks Lori! :) Yes, I am on a journey for sure and I feel like this time I'm going to actually figure out where it leads.

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